I just had to…

I live in two realities

Reality 1.

I woke up this morning, the sky was clear blue and the air was full of buzzing insects. I took Vittorio to School 200m from our house. We walked in the sunshine, 14th street down, 5th avenue and then 15th street. After leaving Vittorio, I picked up the dogs and drove to Delta Park. Good music in my ears, I decided to sing out loud while I was running along the spruit. Max and Svea ran all over the place, so happy to be out and about. After the run, I went back home through Craighall park, Hamilton Road and then first avenue, then 15th street. When Im in the shower I get two watsapp messages they say…

Reality 2.

Message: Suspicious vehicle old Toyota. We went for a run this morning around 8:30 (in parkhurst) and this vehicle pulled up close by us. Single b male was very intimidating. Last seen at verity park in Parkhurst 

(At 7:45 I walked with my son and more or less passed Verity Park…)

Next message

Att hijacking at 133 15th Street Parkhurst, 3bm, 2 confirmed armed with firearms in a white vehicle unknown make and reg, nothing taken, no injuries. No further info

(At 8:45 I drove passed 133 15th Street with my car after the run in Delta park)

These messages are from the from neighbours watch list. They send out things that happen in the area so you can keep an eye out. I didn’t reflect on the messages more than ok- I’ll keep an eye out.

It sometimes feel like I live in a bubble. All these thing happens around me and all I see are blue skies and buzzing insects. I know I take precautions and I always have an eye on my surroundings. If I feel something might not be right, I don’t hesitate. Even now while writing this post, I double checked that the garage door was locked. If I see a suspicious car outside my driveway, I pass and I call the security (happened this weekend). 9/10 its nothing but I never never never take the risk.

I hesitated to write this post, but this is my reality and this blog is about me. Lately I have had no motivation to write, partly because I want to write about my reality. Not about being a mom, being an expat, house wife. I want to write about my reality and I just can’t. I can’t because it is sometimes tough and very different from Sweden. I know crime exists in Sweden but I think you know what I mean. I can’t write about it because I don’t want to worry anyone especially my family. And this is putting a wet cloth over my motivation.

So I had to write this short post, I just had to. Its not much but it made me a bit happier. And from now on I will try to add a small taste of Joburg reality, an not only the good stuff. I love Joburg to bits and I will keep writing about its amazing entrepreneurial spirit, its pulse and the PEOPLE. But I will also add a small part that stings because that is my reality, something I live with 24/7.

To my sweet son Andrea

The evening before you were born, your father and I had dinner the “normal way”, sitting in our kitchen on uncomfortable high chairs, eating tuna salad (your dad) and pasta (me). I think we watched the first episode of Sopranos. Your dad’s gift to me, so I could have something to do while breastfeeding.

Your dad had taken a couple of days of and we were desperately trying to sleep train Vittorio before your arrival. Meaning:

  1. Not let him sleep in our bed
  2. Not let him sleep with me
  3. Sleep on his own in his own room ….alone

We (your dad) had managed step 1 and 2….but he still spent more or less the night in V’s bed waking up with stiff shoulders. I got some good night sleeps though.

At 09:00 am we (me and Vittorio) parked the car outside Bambananis for a playdate with Su and Lotti. I felt a little bit uncomfortable and the stomach was hard but nothing else. During the playdate I realise that I have contractions and I send an sms to my midwife Sue saying “I’m having contractions very small but still…Every 20 min ish. Not strong!

At around 11 we leave Bambananis and Su makes sure that I get all the way home. I sms Fabio and he promise to be home at 12.

I put Vittorio to bed and I lie down. Now I’m having contractions every 10 min for 1 min, took two Panados  and smsed my midwife and doula. Fabio came home at 12:00 and ran down to VovoTelo to buy some lunch. At 13:00 our outdoor furniture arrived and we managed to install them between my contractions. At 14:00 the contractions hadn’t changed much but I really didn’t want Vittorio to wake up and see us leave. So we decided to make a “run for it” between contractions.

In the car I smsed my midwife and doula again and said  – I’m on my way. Sue called me and explained that they were 45 min away and that Genesis would not let me in without my caretakers. I felt a bit stupid and also my contractions were starting to fade. Then my doula called and asked me if we couldn’t wait at home another hour. I didn’t want to turn around so I faked a contraction on the phone – wonder if anyone ever done that? Then I said that we could park at Genesis and walk around zoo lake while waiting for them.

Arriving at Genesis it felt like my contractions were gone. This made me quite nervous – I really didn’t want them to send me home again. So while waiting (in the playground at Genesis) I walked around rubbing my tummy and trying to make the contractions more active. When Sue and Rosalia came – I excused myself and said that they are probably going to send me home. They laughed and said – well lets see. We got the same room as the last time, so you and your brother are borne in the same room.  We were left alone at first, I told Fabio not to unpack anything as I really felt too confortable. I walked around rubbing my tummy and trying to get the contractions going. Eventually they came with the “equipment” to measure the contractions. And I told myself – I’ll be happy if I’m 2cm open. They checked – 6 cm. YEAY – we got to stay.

While they started to build the pool, Fabio laid down next to me and held my hand. So from 15:30 to around 16:45, we had a quite confortable time. I got stronger contractions but I focused to lie completely still and just breath through. Your dad massaged the palm of my hand, pushed every time I breathed out, it really helped. Sometimes he pushed too hard and it actually hurt more than the contraction. I thought that was quite funny. We had a really great time and laughed a lot saying “we have to do this again”. I managed to get runners high after every contraction so I was quite high. We also noticed that the air con went on and off. And in some miraculous way it always went on when I had a contraction. At 16:45, Sue came back to measure me. I was 8 cm open and everything was fine. Suddenly the water broke, you jiggled you head. The last words I remember was Sue saying now it is going to go a bit faster. Yep ….

17:05 and I saw your beautiful face for the first time.

My dear Andrea, you rock the world! You are the coolest most relaxed child I have ever met. This first year has been a though one, because of your older brother, you have been sick a lot, even admitted to hospital and having grommets at 8 months.

I see your personality so clearly and I know we are in for a tough but fun ride. You are probably even more stubborn than you brother and and that smile just gets you away with everything.

Happy birthday sweet sweet sweet Andrea!

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Frankfurt…

20140919-165416-60856319.jpgLeaving OR Tambo yesterday. I love that airport especially the welcoming circle. It is truly a rainbow nation.

The night was ok, extremely uncomfortable but I saw a great movie, Chef. It’s a pure luxury to travel on our own, pure luxury!

20140919-165625-60985725.jpgWaiting for our flight in Frankfurt and using the freeeee Internet, eating a panini and watching a A380 dock. Truly a big airplane. Thinking about the internship I got at Airbus working on the propulsion system. As an engineer I should have been jumping with joy, instead I chose L’Oréal & Lancôme, every girls dream…or maybe just mine.

On the road again…

But this time without kids. I miss them already but I’m so looking forward to a couple of nights with undisturbed sleep…and the wedding of course.

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This is what I’m wearing…you’ll see the full outfit on Saturday. I found it at Egality in Parkhurst.

It feels so strange to sit on an aeroplane and not focus on, bottles, toys, iPads, food, diapers. I will be able to watch a movie!!!! Yeay!!! And next to me is my husband. We can pretend we are on our honeymoon again…double yeay!!!

Weekend yeay!

So I might have to denounce my handywoman title. I just had an electrician here to help me out with the light for the livingroom ceiling. Took him two minutes…

I just don’t like electricity! But I asked him some basic question (my teacher in theoretical electronics would tear his hair). Now I know exactly how to do it (again).

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Starting the weekend with some crazy flowers.

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Handywoman part II

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Back at school, yeay! Maybe more yeay for me than for V. But he is very proud when I pick him up. Mom – I go to school. Big smile.

Summer has come and it is absolutely amazing. The house is warm in the morning and you don’t have to sit with you outdoor jacket at the dinner table.

We have more or less unpacked everything. TV is installed, Internet up and running and tomorrow the electrician comes to fix the last light. I’m spending my afternoon at the hardware store on 4th. They must think I’m hitting on someone. Everyday I come with my phone to show them pictures of what I need. As I don’t know the names.

Today I got this, can you guess what it is?

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Handywoman

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I’m a handywoman!
I put up our TV on the wall, and may I also add – in the most effective way possible. I took tape and made a fake TV on the wall so I could see exactly what it would look like.

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Then I drilled six perfect holes into the hard concrete wall…perfection is my middle name!

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And the result, well perfect of course!

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I also bought a 3m ladder and a lawnmower…macho

Time

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So when am I supposed to have time to write? This is crazy! This is the first moment I have since we came down (more or less), and now I have no clue what to write about.

We are settling in really good, totally in love with the new house. I had no idea a house could change your mood. I just feel much happier in general, so does F. Never ever will I underestimate a well planed house.

We went to Pretoria yday to vote. Discussing different options in the car on the way. It was hard this time, I tried to read up and watch the debates on SVT PLAY but I’m not convinced. The only thing I was convinced of was that I had to vote.

Well let the best man/woman win…

Back again

20140828-231205-83525976.jpgSorry, my blog has been down for a while, missed a payment. But I have been on vacation so it doesn’t matter right?

Had a great vacation in Sweden. Truly amazing, I absolutely love coming back seeing my tribe. Well it is my tribe, my family. I feel a very strong connection, always have. When I see my mom, dad and sister, I can’t help it, I totally understand why I am who I am…I love it.

This is a short video of how the summer in Fkil was.