Thoughts right now…

The last weeks, it feels so unreal. So I’m actually going through this again. The labour pain, the after labour pain, the breastfeeding pain. When this gets going – I have a couple of weeks of pain to endure. Do I sound negative? Maybe, but I’m just being realistic….it is painful. Maybe some women have a better experience – I’m just relying on my own experience.

But the reward – WOW – the best in the world. Can’t wait to meet this little man who is kicking me in the ribs! What will he look like, how will he be…it is truly awesome a a real blessing to be a mother.

This night I was up between 02:00 – 03:00, just couldn’t sleep. Wide awake. The throat was itching, my eyes were dry, my legs were itching, my ears were itching, my nose were itching ….I can go on and on. I tried to read a bit and drank V’s bottle of milk that I had on my bed side table. Looked at my husband and envied his deep breathing. Gave him a kiss, trying not to wake him up, but he was in the land of dreams. I listened for noises from V’s bedroom and I heard that the shower in F’s bathroom was dripping.

At 03:00, V woke up and came into our room. He looked absolutely adorable and tired. He climbed into our bed and fell asleep between me and F. He took my hand and my heart filled with love and joy. This little hand, his warm breath and the smell. I fell asleep instantly, next to my family. What a blessing.

Me the day before I gave birth to V



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