When Vittorio jumps into the pool, goes under and comes up with a big smile on his face. I look like it is no big deal, but secretly I tap myself on the shoulder. I am such a good mum.
When Vittorio crawled at 6 months, stood up by himself at 7,5 months and proceeded to walking at 12 months…well it is because he has calm and relaxed parents, and we have stimulated him in just the right way.
When I put Vittorio to sleep at 19:00 by laying him down, giving him a bottle and leaving the room – well it is because I have been excellent at sleep training, of course!
I believe in routines and I think they can really help to get structure. It is logic that the baby/child likes patterns and things that feels familiar. I have been following routines but I have also broken a lot of basic rules. I let Vittorio sleep in our bed the first 4 months. It was amazing, I fed him with out even knowing. I made him like the dummy by being persistent. Oh, and putting him to bed with a bottle is a NO NO – and I kind of fed him every time he woke up when he was a baby…just because I was to tired fighting.
Routines are great but I do firmly believe that you have to adapt them to your child and to what you feel comfortable with. Every child is different and some just don’t like to be put to bed the way the routine tells you to. Some children are easier than others, some children respond very nicely to what mummy and daddy wants. Some don’t!
Ex: I have a friend who never sleep trained her daughter – she just slept through from 4 months. And I have another friend that had a son that never wanted to sleep during his first 6 months.
Yes – I have been sleep training Vittorio, but to be honest I think that it is something else that makes him accept being put to bed without a fuss. In the morning he is not that happy, I can tell you that!
Yes – I have been playing a lot with Vittorio in the bathtub, but the fact that he loves water, it’s in his DNA. He has no fear and loves going under the surface – I can’t take any cred for that.
And for the crawling, standing up and walking…well that is definitely not because of brilliant parenting. One day he just did it.
The more I get to know our little man the more I realise that he is his own person. Yes we can help, give support and guidelines but he will still go his own way. I read somewhere that many parents see their child like a empty cup and that they have to pour knowledge into. No action – no result. Instead of seeing the child as a full cup which hasn’t decided if it want’s to be water, wine, milk or hot chocolate. And the cup needs to figure that out on it’s own, with a lot of support of course.
At the moment my son wakes up at 04:30. That means that he sleeps brilliantly for 9,5 hours. After that he want’s to play. This does not really fit my morning routines and I started to get irritated. Sleep you little shit!
First I thought that he was hungry. So I feed him in his bed (no light), he went back to sleep …and woke up 10 minutes later.
Then I thought it was the daylight. So I put him to bed at 20:00 instead of 19:00..he woke up exactly at 05:30 …one hour later.
Then I thought, if you do not want to sleep, then you can play by yourself in your cot. Result: Vittorio screamed for 1h straight and kept both me and F awake.
So I have resigned, at the moment he only needs to sleep 9,5h per night (which is not that bad) and I just have to figure out a way of coping. One day, I will be standing over his bed shaking him and telling him that it is time to go up …it is 01:30 pm.