My son had his one year check up yesterday. Everything went great, he was healthy, strong, tall, perfect weight….and yet I always leave the doctor feeling that I should do more. Should give him better food, should give him more food. Should teach him more words, should take him to more play groups, should make him sleep more, should make him sleep less. Should, should, should….
When she asked me if I was still breast feeding, I felt a shame. She asked me when I stopped – I said 7 months, but I know that I stopped the day he turned 6 months. Guess this is how it is …being a mother, you will just never feel good enough.
I will always be there for him, I will always comfort him, I will always make sure he gets what he needs, and when he is finally sleeping, I will prepare for the day after: picking up his toys and putting everything back where it should be. I could probably do more, I could do less….whatever I do, I guess I have to accept that it will never be enough.