32 and scared of the dark

When I am alone there is one moment i dread…when I decide to turn of the light. It is like I’m seven and scared of the crocodile under my bed. It feels like I can keep away the monsters when the light is on. When it is off – I am in the dark.

I don’t think I was like this in Stockholm, or I know I wasn’t. But here I am still not used to being alone. Too many bars, high walls, electrical fences and alarms to feel safe. Strange but true – it reminds me of everything I should be scared of.

Of course this goes “up and down” and some days/months I feel super safe. But right now …well to be honest I’m not a tough girl. And why did that dog bark? What was that noise?

Well it doesn’t help that my imagination is quite impressive and that all the weird noises decides to appear when F is not home.

Hm…think I’m going to as Max if he wants to cuddle – I’m such a chicken.


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